In 2008, Denver Broncos’ Wide Receiver Brandon Marshall (or as his friends call him “that guy who had one good season”) insulted four-time Pro Bowler and 1998 First Team ALL-WAC linebacker Joey Porter, explaining that his intimidating physique was nothing more than homoerotic eye-candy and served no real purpose on the gridiron. He said Porter had POPCORN MUSCLES.
While Porter, whose annual swimsuit calendar narrowly out-sold Sidney Crosby’s sex tape in the greater Pittsburgh area (both great gifts for children by the way), laughed at the notion that his sculpted torso was simply late night Castro District “accelerant,” and a valiant effort to keep up with Dan Marino’s post Nutri-System body in South Beach, the phrase became legendary…sort of, and inspired two classically trained journalists to dedicate an entire Web site to the phrase.
Here’s a look at some of the headlines from POPCORNMUSCLES.COM
Charles Barkley called too fat to play in prison yard basketball game
Chris Simms asks Luke Walton for advice on how to deal with not living up to family name
Terrell Owens ready to become team player provided his stats don’t suffer
Utah citizens celebrate Jazz 10th straight win with alcohol free scrabble night
NBC signs deal to show two NHL Stanley Cup games as part of their alternative sports programming
NCAA graduation rates reveal nerds aren’t good at sports
NHL considers new television deal with the Food Network
Vince Young shows Akili Smith Potential -(READ FULL ARTICLE HERE)
Laveraneus Coles leaves New York to fulfill lifelong dream of losing football games in Ohio
Marshawn Lynch not sentenced to jail for gun charges. Judge claimed a lifetime of living in Buffalo is punishment enough.
Dirk Nowitzki shocked the basketball world last night by scoring lots of points, playing no defense and losing the game.
Ken Griffey Jr. anticipates getting first hit any day now
New York Yankees lose to Team Canada…at baseball…seriously
Pistons minimize Iverson’s turnovers by putting him on injured reserve
Some guy not named Tiger Woods leading Honda Classic
Grizzlies learn that nobody loses like the Clippers with 118-95 win in Los Angeles
Al Davis impressed by Jerry Jones’ complete lack of long-term plan
ESPN’s College Gameday crew reportedly bullying lonely hockey analyst Barry Melrose
WNBA tries to make games more exciting by no longer allowing women to play
Brenda Warner gives Kurt permission to stay n Phoenix
Underwear model David Beckham plans to play soccer in Hollywood
Phil Mickelson gets first win of season by defeating local truck driver at pie eating contest
Giants willing to welcome Plaxico Burress back if he promises not to shoot himself again
Sean Avery excited to disgrace NHL in major market after signing with New York Rangers
Alex Rodriguez sick of being Face of Steroids. He’d rather be known as ”the guy who chokes in the playoffs” again
Marc Gasol quickly becoming the NBA version of Ozzie Canseco
Jesus Christ advises Kurt Warner to hold out for more money
Phoenix Coyotes trade Olli Jokinen in final push to avoid playoffs and fan support
Bonds delayed perjury trial frees up time to beg MLB teams to sign him
Gary Bettman to begin midget wrestling to raise money for NHL
Tim Duncan’s french sidekick leads spurs to victory
Dallas Mavericks only 10 points away from beating worst team in NBA
Jay Cutler admits temper tantrums in high altitude are hard on his diabetes
Iverson seems confused after having back, not head examined
Amazing, lol! What a great idea for a site. I’m not much for sports, but this is excellent.