Popcorn Muscles

What are Popcorn Muscles?

In Athletes who can't read on February 13, 2009 at 22:09

Earlier this year Denver Bronco Wide Receiver Brandon Marshall (or as his friends call him “that guy who had one good season”) insulted four-time Pro Bowl and 1998 First Team ALL-WAC linebacker Joey Porter, explaining that he wasn’t tough and his intimidating physique was all for show. He said Porter had POPCORN MUSCLES.

While Porter, whose annual swimsuit calendar narrowly out-sold Sidney Crosby’s sex tape in the greater Pittsburgh area (both great gifts for children by the way), laughed at the notion that his sculpted torso was nothing more than late night Castro “accelerant,” or an effort to keep up with Dan Marino’s post Nutri-System  body in South Beach the phrase became legendary…sort of, and inspired two classically trained journalists to dedicate a blog to the phrase.

Hope ya enjoy!


  1. You’re in big trouble, meesters.

    I made the mistake of drinking and surfing, as I’m prone to do as a career offender. So, once again, I’m drinking and surfing and came across your site. As I’m taking a drink, I break into a fit of hysterical laughter mixed in with some school-girl giggling. Predictably, I spit Dr. Pepper all over my brand-new laptop, the sugary DP goodness defiling my HP like that ugly-chick-high-school-classmate of yours you saw last week in the straight-to-your-collection DVD porno release of Back(Door)Draft (and yes, I know, she’s still ugly, but apparently she’s making some money now, so go ahead and give her a call).

    Anyway, seeing how your website caused my accident, I reckon you owe me a new laptop. Although I must admit that since the accident, Vista is now running better than ever, please send me a new 17″ HP (although I’ve had my eye on this sweet new 18″ Sony – can we talk?)

    Cheers.

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