Popcorn Muscles

Mark Cuban throws inspirational temper tantrum

In 1, Awful human beings, Dallas Mavericks, Dirk Nowitzki, Mark Cuban, NBA on March 5, 2009 at 00:42

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Following the Dallas Maverick’s 96-87 loss to the bottom-feeding Seattle Supersonics Oklahoma City Thunder, team owner Mark Cuban threw an awkward hissy-fit before threatening to take his ball and go home.

Cuban, who hasn’t played organized sports since getting picked last a Jewish Community Center pick-up kickball game 22 years ago, called his players undisciplined and questioned their desire to show the world that a chubby rich kid accused of insider trading can put together a championship team.

Though some question Cuban’s management style, Donald Trump fictitiously applauded his efforts, noting that “people love it when a self-entitled billionaire with zero social skills and a goofy haircut acts like he’s better than everyone.”

Team leader Dirk Nowitzki (who now defends opponents at a third-grade level) could not be reached for comment, but Jason Kidd told reporters that if the Mavericks could get a player like Devin Harris there’s no telling how far into the playoffs they can go.

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