In a valiant effort to prove to the world that they can be more successful at activities other than curling and snow removal, the Canadian national baseball team, (yes, they have one with uniforms and everything) almost pulled off another upset of the vaunted Team USA in the World Baseball Classic. Led by Dodgers catcher Russell “The Fighting Poutine” Martin, the canucks put a scare into the Americans before ultimately falling, 6-5. “It was a good game, but like everything else we [Canada] do the U.S. always seems to do it better,” Martin might have said if we actually interviewed him. “Baseball, basketball, World War II, recessions — I mean, really, can’t we catch a break?”
“That was a close one,” admitted (we think) USA shortstop Jimmy Rollins. “But we weren’t focused. Their fans kept taunting us, by talking about ‘The Red Green Show’ and Labatt Blue. It was pretty distracting.”
All poor Canadian jokes aside, Team USA needs to defeat Venezuela before leaving wannabe America and heading to LA for the semifinals and finals.