Popcorn Muscles

Kobe needs time away from basketball fans; Gets Peace and Quiet at Clippers game

In Awful human beings, Embarrassments to humanity, Evil Empire, Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA, People more important than Jesus, Teams nobody cares about on March 11, 2009 at 17:00



As playoff pressure begins to mount in the Lakers’ locker room, team leader and occasional midget wrangler Kobe Bryant went to a Los Angeles Clippers game to clear his head and get some peace and quiet. “I thought about going to a library or an Alex Rodriguez fan club meeting,” Bryant said in a pretend interview. “But there’s always a couple basketball fans there who  ask for my autograph or want to know if the rumors about Pau Gasol and ‘the goat’ are true. That’s why I love Clipper games. Not a basketball fan  for miles!”

Known as “the loneliest place on earth” or “the building where dreams go to die,” the Clippers home arena (which urban legend claims is shared with the Lakers) provides an unmatched level of peace, quiet and reasonably priced hot dogs for celebrities looking to get away from the stressors of high profile events.

“I once dropped a pin while sitting in the 18th row,” says Bryant. “And then some guy I assume is some sort of date rapist or custodial worker named Chris Kaman asked me to keep the noise down.”




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