Popcorn Muscles

Jay Cutler Throws A Temper Tantrum That is Intercepted and Returned for a Touchdown

In People afraid of the dark, People you'll never hear about in seven months, Selfish pricks, Suspected porn enthusiasts on March 17, 2009 at 01:30

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For the first time in his erratic career, Jay Cutler is finally showing critics his willingness to stand up and help the Denver Broncos become a championship team. “I really wanted to give them a better chance to win,” Cutler said while talking to Popcorn Muscles make believe reporters. “So I decided to throw a hissy fit and demand a trade.”

With zero winning seasons as a starting quarterback since high school, and demonstrating the decision making ability of a young Rick Mirer, Cutler acknowledges that the team would be better served with Kyle Orton at the helm or by signing former Drew Carey Show extra Bernie Kosar to run the wildcat offense.

“I used to think I was a pretty good quarterback,” said Cutler. “But I can’t argue with Josh McDaniel’s weeks of head coaching experience. He didn’t think I had what it takes, so I had to do the right thing and leave the franchise.”

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