Popcorn Muscles

Phoenix Suns Auction Off Their 2009 Draft Pick on eBay

In Awful human beings, Draft Busts, NBA, NBA Draft, People you'll never hear about in seven months, Selfish pricks, Shitty Owners on March 19, 2009 at 17:24

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Phoenix Suns owner Robert Sarver has decided to forgo his usual process of trading the team’s first round draft pick for cash (with frustrated fans to be named later) and has instead elected to place the organization’s looming lottery pick on eBay.

With a starting bid listed at $75, Sarver expects to see a lot of early action and is even sweetening the pot by offering the winning bidder a chance to help him select the team’s second round draft pick out of a hat, a celebrated process that has brought in some real Marcin Gortat caliber players.

Sarver explains that this bold new strategy is great for both fans and the NBA. “You don’t trade away Luol Deng, Nate Robinson, Rudy Fernandez and Rajon Rando without learning a thing or two,” Sarver fictitiously said. “With this new strategy, a Suns fan can bid on the pick and give it back to the team if he wins the auction. It’s a win-win situation! I get my annual ‘bonus’ and we will be able to finally use those snazzy draft day hats we’ve been saving since we used the 17th overall pick in 2003 to start the Zarko Cabarkapa era.”

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