Popcorn Muscles

Local Prison Plans to Hold NFL Pro Day

In Athletes who can't read, dangers to society, Draft Busts, International incidents, Selfish douche bags, Suspected porn enthusiasts on March 24, 2009 at 17:02

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In an effort to help NFL franchises replace players currently incarcerated throughout the country, Leavenworth Penitentiary has begun their “Pay it Forward” campaign, by inviting the league’s top scouts to the prison’s first ever scouting combine.

Headlined by defensive end prospect Rashard “Stabby” Johnson, who impressed several general managers by bench-pressing the rotting carcass of a  225 pound man he strangled to death over three dozen times, some scouts feel this is the deepest group of  inmates since the Hall of Fame class from San Quentin in 1992. 

“There’s a lot of talented players out here to choose from,” said one anonymous and possibly non-existent scout. “And when evaluating prospects at local prisons you don’t have to deal with the character issues you get at Florida State or Miami.”

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