Popcorn Muscles

Anquan Boldin Rejects Trade to New York Giants Because Blue Uniforms Make Him Look Fat

In Anquan Boldin, Arizona Cardinals, Athletes who can't read, dangers to society, Embarrassments to humanity, mascot sex, NFL, People afraid of the dark, People probably on steroids, Selfish douche bags, Suspected porn enthusiasts, Teams that never cover the spread, Things Dennis Quaid has ruined on April 20, 2009 at 17:46

anquan-boldin

 

Arizona Cardinals’ Wide Receiver and avid stamp collector Anquan Boldin (who recently wrote the forward of Terrell Owens new book How to Look Ripped While Ruining A Franchise), recently told Spoiled Athlete Magazine that he would refuse to accept a trade to the New York Giants, as their dark blue uniforms make him look a tad on the chubby side.

Boldin, who has recently begun dating a full length mirror, explained that he would prefer to play for teams with lighter color schemes like the Detroit Lions or Cincinnati Bengals, as they would really make his muscles “pop” while yelling at teammates and complaining about his touches.

“I’m demanding a trade from a Super Bowl team with a proven quarterback and solid offense,” Boldin fictitiously told a reporter while picking up Matt Leinart and his date from the Desert Mountain High School junior prom. “I clearly don’t care if I win football games. It’s all about how I look on the field and whether or not the cameras can see how defined my biceps are while I’m ignoring my fans or flirting with Sal Paolantonio between plays.”

 

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  1. […] PopcornMuscles says:Anquan Boldin Rejects New York Giants Trade Because Blue Uniforms Make Him Look Fat. https://popcornmuscles.wordpress.com/2009/04/20/boldin/ […]

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  3. […] won all four pre-seas Usefull Posts InGameNow » Last Place Lions get an Image Overhaul…Anquan Boldin Rejects Trade to New York Giants Because Blue Uniforms Make Him Look Fat « Popco…The Redzone – Best NFL News and […]

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