Popcorn Muscles

Mehmet Okur Set to Release Gangster Rap Album Over Offseason

In Athletes Who Probably Smell Bad, Best Mullets in Sports, Creepy Bastards, dangers to society, Mehmet Okur, NBA, People afraid of the dark, People probably on steroids, picking on fat kids, Utah Jazz on April 21, 2009 at 17:48

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Utah Jazz Forward and Mormon sex symbol Mehmet Okur recently told both members of his fan club that he plans to record a hard core gangster rap album this summer in an effort to finally start scoring Matt Harpring quality ass.

The album, tentatively titled The Other White Meat, features cameo tracks from Vanilla Ice, Harvey Keitel and Andrei Kirelenko with a secret song from producer and best friend Dr. Dre at the end of the LP. “When I first recorded the song ‘I nailed Pat Summitt in the back of a Hyundai’ people started realizing how hard core my rhymes were,” Okur said while signing autographs at a local petting zoo. “I feel like I have the potential to be the best Turkish rapper in all of Salt Lake City.”

While critics claim Okur’s music still hasn’t hit the artistic level of Kobe Bryant’s eerily titled duet “Hold Me” with R. Kelly (or as the track is currently labelled “Prosecution Exhibit C”), many industry insider believe Okur’s good looks and  unquestioned “street cred” will propel his album to the top of the charts and even lead to an interview with his boyhood hero Ryan Seacrest.

 

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