After an ill-conceived trade earlier this year that nearly sent alleged NBA Center and jDate spokesman Tyson Chandler to Oklahoma City for Joe Smith and a bottle of Robert Swift’s acne cream, the New Orleans Hornets and their $12 million offensive liability are finally over the awkward break-up and have decided to remain teammates with benefits throughout the postseason.
“It’s not like we’re teenage girls or the Los Angeles Clippers here,” said Hornet’s General Manager Jeff Bower at a press conference outside of the Oliver Miller Cheesecake Emporium. “We’re all professionals trying to win games, get an NBA championship and most importantly make sure Peja Stojakovic takes his contractually mandated monthly shower.”
Chandler, who remains the only active NBA player to own all seven seasons of The Gilmore Girls on DVD, recently admitted that he expects to be involved in trade talks over the offseason, claiming that “injury prone centers with $12 million salaries and almost nine points per game don’t grow on trees. It’s pretty much just me and Samuel Dalembert, and that guy smells worse than Peja!”