Popcorn Muscles

What are Popcorn Muscles?

joey_porterIn 2008, Denver Broncos’ Wide Receiver Brandon Marshall (or as his friends call him “that guy who had one good season”) insulted four-time Pro Bowler and 1998 First Team ALL-WAC linebacker Joey Porter, explaining that his intimidating physique was nothing more than homoerotic eye-candy and served no real purpose on the gridiron. He said Porter had POPCORN MUSCLES.

While Porter, whose annual swimsuit calendar narrowly out-sold Sidney Crosby’s sex tape in the greater Pittsburgh area (both great gifts for children by the way), laughed at the notion that his sculpted torso was simply late night Castro District “accelerant,” and a valiant effort to keep up with Dan Marino’s post Nutri-System  body in South Beach, the phrase became legendary…sort of, and inspired two classically trained journalists to dedicate an entire Web site to the phrase.


Here’s a look at some of the headlines from POPCORNMUSCLES.COM

Charles Barkley called too fat to play in prison yard basketball game

Chris Simms asks Luke Walton for advice on how to deal with not living up to family name

Terrell Owens ready to become team player provided his stats don’t suffer

Utah citizens celebrate Jazz 10th straight win with alcohol free scrabble night

NBC signs deal to show two NHL Stanley Cup games as part of their alternative sports programming



NCAA graduation rates reveal nerds aren’t good at sports

NHL considers new television deal with the Food Network

Vince Young shows Akili Smith Potential –(READ FULL ARTICLE HERE)

Laveraneus Coles leaves New York to fulfill lifelong dream of losing football games in Ohio

Marshawn Lynch not sentenced to jail for gun charges. Judge claimed a lifetime of living in Buffalo is punishment enough.

Dirk Nowitzki shocked the basketball world last night by scoring lots of points, playing no defense and losing the game.

Ken Griffey Jr. anticipates getting first hit any day now

New York Yankees lose to Team Canada…at baseball…seriously



Read More Articles




Pistons minimize Iverson’s turnovers by putting him on injured reserve

Some guy not named Tiger Woods leading Honda Classic

Grizzlies learn that nobody loses like the Clippers with 118-95 win in Los Angeles 

Al Davis impressed by Jerry Jones’ complete lack of long-term plan

ESPN’s College Gameday crew reportedly bullying lonely hockey analyst Barry Melrose

WNBA tries to make games more exciting by no longer allowing women to play

Brenda Warner gives Kurt permission to stay n Phoenix

Underwear model David Beckham plans to play soccer in Hollywood

Phil Mickelson gets first win of season by defeating local truck driver at pie eating contest 


Read More Articles 




Giants willing to welcome Plaxico Burress back if he promises not to shoot himself again

Sean Avery excited to disgrace NHL in major market after signing with New York Rangers

Alex Rodriguez sick of being Face of Steroids. He’d rather be known as “the guy who chokes in the playoffs” again

Marc Gasol quickly becoming the NBA version of Ozzie Canseco

Jesus Christ advises Kurt Warner to hold out for more money

Phoenix Coyotes trade Olli Jokinen in final push to avoid playoffs and fan support

Read More Articles




Bonds delayed perjury trial frees up time to beg MLB teams to sign him

Gary Bettman to begin midget wrestling to raise money for NHL 

Tim Duncan’s french sidekick leads spurs to victory

Dallas Mavericks only 10 points away from beating worst team in NBA

Jay Cutler admits temper tantrums in high altitude are hard on his diabetes

Iverson seems confused after having back, not head examined


Read More Articles

  1. Amazing, lol! What a great idea for a site. I’m not much for sports, but this is excellent.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: